


It's not what you think

by hheybibi



Series: Little Boy ^^ [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Little Space, M/M, Open requests, Past Abuse, ish, it's a pretty rushed fic, little kihyun, the others are kinda mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24531949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hheybibi/pseuds/hheybibi
Summary: Being a kpop idol is hard. Being a little and a kpop idol is harder. But Kihyun finds comfort in Hyunwoo
Relationships: Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Series: Little Boy ^^ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804957
Comments: 7
Kudos: 73





	It's not what you think

**Author's Note:**

> Happy pride month!!!

Being a kpop idol is really hard, but keeping secrets is even harder. Especially when you live with six obnoxious man-babies.

Kihyun's secret wasn't even the usual scandalous ones like having a girlfriend or something an old classmate would bring up on the internet. No, it wasn't any of that. Kihyun's secret was a bit more embarrassing and pretty shameful; Kihyun is a little and he's gay. In his mind (and society's) that's the worst combinations to ever exist. 

Kihyun can deal with a little hate here and there, but when it gets too much, that's when being little comes in. He just wants to escape into little land forever and not have to come out. But unfortunately for him, he knows that can never happen. He knows that it's deemed socially unacceptable to want to act like a little kid, to want to cuddle a plush toy to bed, to want sippy cups and pacifiers, to want pink onesies and he knows it's socially unacceptable to have the biggest crush on Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo, sweet authoritative Hyunwoo. The kind of person Kihyun needs in his life right now. Kihyun knows he's stepping a boundary when he thinks of Hyunwoo tucking him to bed or when he thinks of him fucking him from behind. But it's not really crossing a boundary if he's only thinking of it, right?

Kihyun's thought is interrupted when said man comes to sit next to him on the floor of their dance studio. He waves his hands in front of Kihyun's face "Earth to Kihyun? Hello?". Kihyun's head jerks to the side "Huh?"  
Hyunwoo gives his infamous eye smile and chuckles "We're going to that BBQ place in an hour, wanna come?"

Kihyun's eyes quickly scan the room and he realizes it's just him and Hyunwoo. Kihyun starts to think; he hasn't dropped in ages and he's been really stressed from their comeback promotions and when the others go to BBQ places they stay there for hours. He weighs his options: say yes, go to the BBQ place and possibly slip into little space in front of his members due to the heavy stress or say no and slip into little space in the safety of the empty dorm.

"Uhm...I don't feel good right now" Kihyun's answer comes out rushed "Maybe another time?" he says slower 

Hyunwoo looks at him with concerned eyes "Oh, what's wrong? Do you want one of us to stay with you?"

Kihyun's heart melts a little and he chuckles nervously "No, it's just a stomach ache" 

Hyunwoo smiles and stands up "Alright, I have to go now if not the guys are going to make me pay"

Kihyun nods and watches as Hyunwoo grabs his phone and jogs out of the studio

He groans with relief and starts packing up to leave

*******

Kihyun sits on the black couch that occupies half the living room in their dorm. He couldn't decide if he wanted to wear his giraffe onesie or his bunny, he decided to go with the bunny. He got his pink sippy cup, his pink blanket -he named waffles- and some cute treats he got for himself months ago but never ate. 

He turned on the tv and put his favourite show; Dora the Explorer. Being little was always came naturally to Kihyun. Not having a care in the world and just for him to be little. He sighs and gets comfortable on the couch as he listens to the intro of his show

A couple of hours pass by and Kihyun doesn't register the door open, too invested in what's happening on the screen

He doesn't register a voice calling out his name until it shakes him and Kihyun turns around. His face fills with complete terror as he sees Hyunwoo's face full of an emotion he can't decipher as he's still in his headspace. But even in his headspace, he can tell that something is terribly wrong.

So he does the only thing his three-year-old mind can do, he chucks his favourite treats at Hyunwoo and runs to his room, leaving his blanket and sippy cup.

Closing the door, he gets into his bed and pulls the cover above his head. The nervousness he felt when Hyunwoo found him was enough for him to slip out of his headspace. Gosh, this was why he never slipped. He was always afraid of someone walking him and catching him watching Dora the Explorer or drinking out of his sippy cups.

Kihyun realizes he's still in his onesie and it's not helping, so he decides to take it off and wear something a normal person would wear. 

Not really wanting to go back outside and talk with Hyunwoo, Kihyun goes back to bed and hopes the earth swallows him while he sleeps

Unfortunately, that doesn't happen because Kihyun wakes up the next morning. He turns in his bed and sees Hoseok staring at him. Oh no, Hyunwoo probably told everyone, didn't he? 

Kihyun internally cries while Hoseok clears the throat "It was really hard to open the doors because someone locked himself in"

Kihyun's eyes widened, but he quickly regains his composure -maybe Hyunwoo didn't tell anyone about it?-

"Ah sorry, I came home and crashed immediately" Kihyun chuckles nervously

Hoseok just shrugs "Whatever. By the way, Hyungwon and Minhyuk tried to cook because you slept in. Your favourite apron may or may not have caught on fire"

Hoseok almost doesn't finish his sentence and runs out of the room

Kihyun would be mad if he didn't have other things on his plate, but he does and he's going to have to buy another apron

For a couple of weeks, Kihyun decides to avoid Hyunwoo and pretty much anyone. He actually thinks he's doing a good job of that but that's absolutely not the case because he's now trapped in a dance studio with Hyunwoo in the middle of the night.

"Are you mad at me? At all of us?" Hyunwoo questions

Kihyun smiles a bit "No, why would you think so?" he looks at everywhere but Hyunwoo

"Well, you haven't been coming home. You always make up a dumb excuse and find any way to not be with us. Everyone's worried sick at the dorm because of you. Whatever is going on with you, just talk to us. Talk to me"

Kihyun sighs shakily "But that's the thing, I can't talk to you guys about it. Especially you" the last part comes out as a whisper

"I-is it because of the whole Dora the Explorer thing?" Hyunwoo asks hesitantly

Kihyun scoffs "No shit sherlock"

"If you don't want to ever talk about that then you don't have to" 

"A-and why haven't you told the guys about my disgusting fetish?" Kihyun questions

"One, it's not my place to do that and two, it's not disgusting, it's something that helps you...right?"

Kihyun's lips quiver "I-I don't want to talk about this"

"You're eventually going to have to, Kihyun. And if you don't the guys aren't that dense, they'll definitely find out on their own"

"I'm scared" Kihyun whispers, his eyes now full with tears "They're going to find out I'm a freak that wants to act like a three-year-old and wants to get cuddled all the time, a freak that wants to feel the love that I couldn't get when I was an actual fucking child. I'm scared you're going to think I'm a weirdo Hyunwoo" Kihyun starts to sob now

Hyunwoo walks over to Kihyun and wraps his arms around his waist

"Our team members aren't that close-minded, Kihyun," Hyunwoo says softly while rubbing small circles on his back 

They stay like that for a while -Kihyun cries his heart out into Hyunwoo's shirt and Hyunwoo just comforts him- until Hyunwoo says "I love you, Kihyunnie" 

Kihyun freezes -a little at the pet name and a lot by his confession- he lifts slowly and looks at Hyunwoo with cute doe eyes "You what?"

Hyunwoo smiles "I love you, all of you"

Kihyun feels like crying again "I love you too, Hyunwoo"

Hyunwoo's smile grows wider and he pulls Kihyun closer to him and kisses his forehead

"Let's go home"

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at titles and summaries
> 
> Send me requests on my [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/hheybibi) and on my [Curious Cat <3](https://curiouscat.me/hheybibi)


End file.
